Forgetting's Easy, Remembering's Harder
by LilMsSugarRush
Summary: Bella and Edward meet in Chicago over the summer and instantly fall in love. Will Edward's marriage proposal work? Will Bella stay in Chicago for him?AH/AU. Based on All Time Low's song, Remembering Sunday. One-shot. BxE.
1. Your Lips Are A Hot Flame

**A/N: I just thought of this today when I was listening to my favorite All Time Low song, Remembering Sunday. I know some of you are waiting for me to update Secret Valentine but I think I need a break from it for the weekend. I swear Chapter Three will be up on Monday :D XOXO, Amanda.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or Mr. Sex-on-Legs Cullen or Remembering Sunday or the supremely sexy Alex Gaskarth. I do own iTunes and a demonic topaz eyed black and white cat named Alice. :D**

**EPOV:** (Because honestly who doesn't love hearing Edward's sexy thoughts :D)

I woke up to a dull pain in my temple. I should have known better than to drink all that Jose Cuervo the last couple of days. I figured one of my best buddies could help me with mu little dilemma with Bella. Ah, Bella Swan, the devil herself I swear. I looked over to my bedside table to look at my clock. Two in the morning, the blinding blue light from the clock taunted me. I had woken up from such a bittersweet dream just to be presented to my own personal hell. I had dreamt of her again, only this time I was strong enough to say the words that I couldn't ever say. I had taken her to Lake Michigan, where we had first met that fateful July morning, and we sat at the beach and watched the sunrise. She was wrapped up in my arms with her head buried in the crook of my neck. All of a sudden I pulled the heavy little Tiffany blue box out of my jacket pocket and held it in front of me. I heard her gasp.

"Edward Masen, that isn't what I think it is. Is it?", Bella groaned. I knew that in the summer she had been completely adverse to the idea of marriage but now it was fall, November to be exact, and I prayed that she wanted to spend forever with me like I had dreamt of spending forever with her every minute since I had met her. In my dream, I had noticed she was cold so I wrapped her tighter in my arms and pulled on her jacket until it clung to her body more. Bella moved herself so her soulful brown eyes could look into my green ones. I stared eagerly into her eyes like a blind man first seeing sunlight. I noticed then that her eyes had so many different colors in them. A splash of hazel at the rims and splotches of blue and green lay deep within them.

"Edward, you know I can't marry you. My stepfather's job is going to take him back to California soon and I'll have to leave. You know that, Edward. It's not that I ever want to leave you. I love you more than life itself. But at seventeen, I can't promise even to myself that I can stay here with you forever. You have college and after that medical school that's going to take your life in a completely different direction than mine. I'm going to travel and become an author and we'll be constantly away from each other. I'll never see you and you'll never see me and when we do see each other, we will only wonder what we actually have in common anymore. I can't do that to my heart and I certainly can't do it to yours." I could see the tears forming in those big beautiful eyes that I swore I would never make cry.

"Bella", I grabbed her hands and placed them in mine,"I would give up everything for you." Tears started running down her face.

"I know. That's why this has to end now. I can't let you sacrifice your dreams for me. I promise you if we see each other again, I'll marry you if the time's right." She so easily pulled herself out of my grip like I wasn't trying my hardest to keep her anchored to me. She started walking away and I chased after her, screaming words that I couldn't even understand, words that didn't sound like words, just sounds from a broken man.

That's when I woke up in a cold sweat. That's when I decided at two in the morning on November 15th that I was going to march over to Bella's house, propose to her, and not take no for an answer. I laced up my black high-top Chuck Taylors and walked out of my apartment and headed over to Bella's.

The wind was especially violent this day, I had to lean into it to make any progress. A particularly evil gust of wind rendered me breathless and brought me falling to the diewalk on my knees. I thought about how last Sunday she had met me at a diner near my house for breakfast. Between college at the University of Chicago and my job at the record store down the street from me, I had barely any time to see my girlfriend. I had texted her the night before, _B, Wanna do breakfast Jerry's Diner 2morrow 9? I have the rest of the day 2 spend w/ the most beautiful girl in the world. ;) Love,E xx._ She had responded back a minute later, _E, sure thing. Meet me in our booth?? I think I may have some ideas for what we can do in the afternoon... ;)xx,Bella._

I had spent every minute until she sat across from me in our booth thinking about what we would do later that afternoon. We hadn't gone all the way yet because Bella hadn't ever and I didn't want to make her feel like I was pressuring her. But that didn't stop me from thinking about it. Constantly. After all, I was a man. This flirty text message had instilled it in my mind that Bella was ready. I had looked at her in that booth, holding her small angel hands in mine, full of expectations.

Breakfast itself had been uneventful. We both ordered our usuals, two eggs and coffee, and made small talk on the events in each other's lives since we had seen each other a week prior. To anybody else in the diner, it looked like we had already done it. Many times. So many times that we felt completely comfortable with each other and didn't need conversations full of pointless and meaningless chatter. We could sit comfortably through long silences, just relishing in the other's company, just holding hands, just looking into the other's soul. People would whisper that we must be in love. That I must be ready to pop the question any day if I hadn't already. These whispers, instead of comforting me, only distressed me. Should I have proposed before now? I had picked up the ring from Tiffany on my way here and I was planning on proposing this afternoon. I didn't even know if she would accept. She knew about the not-so-glamorous side of Edward Masen, the darker side, the side that had done so many bad things in this Edward's eyes. How could she trust me enough for marriage if she wouldn't even trust me with her goddamned virginity!

While my love ate her eggs, I sat there staring at her, fiddling with the tiny blue box in my coat pocket. I tried to ease my fears of not being accepted by her. But it was impossible. By the time Bella was ready to go, I had convinced myself that she would say no and she would run away screaming.

We finished our morning down at the lake, watching the people go by, simply holding hands. Earlier she had mentioned that Renee and Phil and her were heading back to their California home shortly so Bella could finish school there and start college. She had quickly dropped the subject and averted any conversation I wanted about it. This had me nervous. Nervous that I wouldn't be able to fully declare my love for my Bella before her parents quickly snatched her away from me. Scared that she would eagerly leave me behind like a memory left to fade like a photograph. Scared that Renee and Phil would stop me from being with the one thing that kept my heart beating. Soon we started walking wordlessly towards Bella's temporary house. Renee and Phil were doing errands all day and had left Bella with me at the house. All alone. All day.

We stepped into Bella's house and without a word, she wrapped her arms around me and started kissing me fiercely. I smiled; this had been exactly what I wanted. She broke our kiss too soon for me and grabbed my hand,smiling wickedly, and lead me upstairs. To her room. Once in the room she continued her very welcome assault upon my person, slamming the door behind us, even though Renee and Phil wouldn't be home until dark. Tired of being dominated, I took control, walking us over to Bella's bed and gently pushing her down onto the plush satin pillows. I had nearly gotten all of our clothes off single-handedly and was preparing to ask her silently if she was ready if she was ready. She pulled her lips away from mine, gasping for air. I simply moved my lips back to her neck, her shoulders, anywhere I could kiss really. When she caught her breath, she gently started pushing me away.

"I-I can't do this, Edward." With that she ran into her bathroom and promptly locked herself in there. Though I persistantly beat on the door, promising her I wasn't mad at her, that I understood. Finally she spoke to me.

"Edward, go home. I can't deal with going out there and seeing you right now. OK?" She managed to say through her tears. I took that as the welcome mat being pulled out from under me and like a good gentleman, I honored her wishes and left.

"FUCK!!" OK, maybe I wasn't a complete gentleman, seeing how I screamed this obscenity into the darkening late afternoon skies. _Twilight._ Mom was expecting me home soon and so I briskly and somewhat angrily marched myself to the nearest subway station. I wasn't mad at Bella, I was more mad at myself. That was the furthest we had ever gone and I still was happy enough. I pushed her boundaries too far and now she wouldn't ever forgive me. That much was evident in her words before I left her house. I despised myself for being such a monster. Didn't I have enough self-control to stop myself from hurting the ones I loved? As the subway slowed toward my stop, three blocks away from my parents' house, I decided to send Bella a "I'm sorry" text in hopes that this would be the first step towards my forgiveness. _B, Sorry that I pushed you too far. I'm an asshole. Ik this probably doesn't help anything but forgive me? Love always,E xx._

To my surprise, I almost immediately recieved one back from Bella. _E,No need to be sorry. I accidently led you on. I'm the one who's sorry. I love you forever and always. B. xx._

After dinner with my parents, I walked back to my small apartment of campus, toying with the robin egg blue box in my pocket. I had allowed myself to think back on the day with Bella. Maybe, and I hated myself for thinking this, Maybe she didn't do it with me because she had already decided she was leaving me behind.

That night I started drinking the Jose. That night was the last time I ever saw Isabella Swan.

As I approached her house, I had thought that maybe that she didn't mean that she never wanted to get married. Maybe she was just bluffing me, just to see how serious our relationship was, how much I loved her. The last part seemed childish even to me. My love for her couldn't possibly ever be measured in any known quantity. My love was her was simply too much for even us to understand. I held on to this idea of a bluff and I felt the butterflies grow in my stomach as I became increasingly more nervous about the words I was about to say to Bella. At three in the morning on a Wednesday. There was no way she could say no. I mean who could deny these butterflies? They were filling my gut.

I walked up the front porch steps, my breaths coming in now in an almost hysterical way. I watched my own fist slowly go out to knock on the door. It took forever where I knew in reality the action had only taken me five seconds maybe. Bella had made time stop for me. I kept hitting on the door, growing increasingly paranoid that no one would answer and my split second decision to propose this morning and be spontaneous and romantic would be ruined. No one answered. I stood there like a fool on the Dwyer's front porch for half an hour before an elderly lady came up to the porch steps. I noticed she was there and turned slightly to face her. Her aged face frowned a little bit at me with a look I could barely recognize on her face. Was it pity?

"I'm sorry young man, but she's left already. She told me that someone would be coming to see her. I assume you're Edward Masen?" I blindly nodded my head. Bella gone without saying goodbye? Did I really mean that little to her after all? I could barely feel the moisture gathering in my eyes, I could barely see the woman before me, I could no longer taste the early morning frost in the air, I could no longer hear the words she was saying. Without Bella, I couldn't be human, I couldn't love, I couldn't feel. I had no real emotions until I had met her. Why did she have to leave? Did I not love her enough? I knew she had deserved more but did I really do something so terrible to deserve living without her?

"Well, here", she pressed an envolope into my hands,"she wanted you to have this. The door's unlocked if you want to go in there one last time. I can understand how hard this must be for you. I recently lost my husband to cancer. It still feels like the world's lost its shine. Don't think for a second that she didn't love you. She used to come next door everyday to talk to me. I saw her falling in love with you, I saw her pain, agonizing over this decision. There's no possible way she couldn't love you, Edward. That girl is going to suffer away from you in California because of you. She wants you to achieve your dreams, unhindered by her presence. Her heart's in the right place. I'm sure you would have done this for her if it came down to it."

Her word resonated deep within me and struck a note of truth. I would have done it, time and time again, if only to protect my Bella. The old woman turned and walked down the steps and back to her own house. I turned so I faced Bella's old front door again and walked into the house.

There was nothing there, no hint or reminder of the beautifully unique and amazing girl who had once lived here. I walked upstairs, without Bella dragging me this time, to her old room and sat down in the middle of the room. The moon, so full of hope, that I had seen earlier was now covered by clouds. I opened Bella's last letter to me and began to read.

_My eternal love, Edward,_

_Please don't hate me for what I am doing. I want you to know for ounce of pain you suffer, I will suffer twice as much. Every time you think about me, I'll be thinking about you too and loving you from what seems like a million miles away. In the few months I have known you, I have learned of a love so beyond my old imagination, a love so powerful that you would die to save the other person's life. That's what I feel like I'm doing but I know you may never forget me, but you can move on with your life. You can graduate from college and go to medical school and become this fantastic doctor and save lives. I'll be watching from afar and loving you from that same distance._

_I will never let you out of my heart. No one has touched me nearly as deep as you have and no one ever will again. My heart is yours, Edward Anthony Masen, forever. No other can ever take that from you. Maybe six years from now, I will see you again and we'll fall back right to where we were a week ago and live happily ever after. I can only hope that you'll still love me after all that time._

_If ever you're in California, I hope you're thinking of me and maybe you'll look me up and see me again. I can only hope. That and knowing somewhere, somehow you love me will be that can keep me here for your sake. I love you, Edward, forever and always. I meant every word I ever said to you._

_Love until the day I die and beyond,_

_Bella_

I had walked back outside while reading the letter and as I finished I realized it wasn't just my tears that were falling. It was raining. I sat on that front porch feeling nothing for six hours in the rain until I realized these clouds were following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, wherever she could be.

Eventually I got up, still unfeeling and thought about what awaited me at home. More Jose Cuervo. Fantastic.

I guess I'll go home now. I guess I'll go home.

**A/N: Do you completely hate me for this? It's completely unrelated to my other story of course but I just wanted to write this one-shot. It may become a full-blown story if I get enough requests for it. Gracias, Amanda.**


	2. It Won't Be Long

The sunlight crept in through the dark shades I had put over my windows in my apartment. Faint, dim yellow beams scattered across the floor revealed the filthy state of my apartment. Empty tequila bottles, Pop Tart wrappers, and broken picture frames of Bella and I were among the items that lay ruined upon the battle zone of my apartment.

I had spent the last two weeks since Bella had left in absolute solitude with nobody other than my Jose Cuervo collection. I admit, I was a complete mess without her and it didn't help that my entire home was permeated with the sickly sweet scent of Bella's strawberry shampoo. I hadn't shaved in weeks and I glanced over to my left, my answering machine had blinked red with fifty messages awaiting me. Good fucking god. Does it get any fucking worse than this?

I listened to every single damn one of those messages as they came in. My mother, my father, my teachers, every one of my best friends. Everyone I knew had left me a message, begging me to come out and see the sunlight again. Fuck that shit.

What sunlight? In my expert opinion, sunshine only existed in the mahogany-red strands of a certain beauty's strawberry-scented hair. Fuck. I was doing it again. I only continued to shoot myself in my foot by reminding myself of her long, flowing, dark brown hair, her sparkling chocolate eyes so illuminated with love, and the expression on her face every time I kissed her…Oh, fuck it, even explaining what I was doing made me miss her more. I was beginning to think I had shipped my dick off to California with her because I was being a complete pussy back here in Chicago.

I got up to take a piss and grab more Pop Tarts, which admittedly, was the only action my body seemed to understand other than pining over Bella these days. The hours rolled by as I only remembered Bella more and more. I finally picked up my guitar and started playing a pretty angst song for her, just trying to vent some of my emotions out of something. I knew that these pent-up feelings would end up killing me.

I reached the chorus of the song and sang out loud. "Your lips are a hot flame, baby, and our chemistry is kerosene. Take it off, take it all off, and burn up in the heat." I collapsed upon my guitar, realizing how pathetic I had gotten. I knew I couldn't live without her but this was getting bad. Really fucking bad.

I shouldn't have pushed her and pressured her into shit. I knew if I hadn't been such an assfuck, she wouldn't be gone. I couldn't resist calling her, just one last time. I pressed every number on the keypad almost religiously, knowing each push got me one step closer to heaven. I held the phone to my ear as Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy played. I got sent to her voicemail almost immediately after the line, "Better off as lovers".

"Hey, this is Bella's phone", I heard a giggle as she did her recording and I felt myself honestly smiling for the first time in ages, "I'm not here right now so just leave a message after the beep". A kissing noise now emanated from the device as I heard her glorious make a kissing face. Lips that should only belong to me.

"Hey, umm, this is Edward. You know from….Chicago? Yeah, just checking to see if you made to Cali alright…umm, yeah, I know you said not to call but I just couldn't help it. Umm, yeah so umm bye then. I love you. Umm, I mean, yeah, bye." I wanted to give up after I couldn't reach her, but I impulsively grabbed my laptop and opened up her Facebook page. Her goddess-like face lit up the screen and I, sticking to my sudden stalker persona, read every bit of her info religiously. Her relationship status said single and a guy who looked distinctly of Native American descent had commented on it (among others) earlier this morning apparently:

_Jacob Black at 8:40 AM Sept. 5: Good riddance, right? Can't wait for our movie date tonight. : ) Love you, xx. : )_

_Felix Volturi at 10:02 AM Sept 5: Ah, the infamous Bella Swan is back on the market? Good news to hear. You wanna go to the Remember Me premiere next week? Text me later. Love you._

_Mike Newton at 10: 25 AM Sept 5: You're looking banging as always, Bella. Nice to see you back on the West Coast again sexy. Coming with me to La Push this weekend? You know you love watching those girlies dancing as much as I do. ; )Talk to me._

_Angela Webber at 12: 35 PM Sept 5: Bella! I missed you sooooo much. What went wrong with SCB? AKA, Sexy Chicago Boy. Did he dump you or something, cause I so will go kick his ass. : ) Love you more than these losers who commented before me._

_Bella Swan at 1: 11 PM Sept 5: Sure, sure. I'll go to both of those. Jake, can't wait either. : ) Ang, long story short, it just wasn't working out. I broke up with him. Party on tomorrow, right? See you all there. It's so good to be back home too. : )_

Reading those comments made me sick. Bella obviously had gotten over me already. But I hadn't. Not at all. Not even an iota. God, I was so fucking in love with her it was almost sickening. But this pining shit had to end. If I really wanted a chance to be the man she needs, I had to take the job offer I had gotten a week before she left. I picked up the bent letter on my kitchen table and called the number on it.

"Hello, Bridget at Twilight Talent Agency, how may I help you?", the friendly receptionist said as she received my call.

"Hello, this is Edward Masen, I'm looking for Stacy Carmichael. She sent me a letter a few weeks ago and I haven't had the chance to call her. I was hoping her movie offer was still good."

She audibly gasped over the line and practically screeched, "Oh, Mr. Masen, she's been awaiting your call. She said whenever you called to send you straight to our headquarters here in Chicago and she would cancel any previous appointment to speak with you. Can you come down at all today?"

I checked the alarm clock glowing lime green by my disheveled bed and saw that it was already four o'clock in the afternoon. I ran my fingers through my incredibly greasy bronze hair. "I can come down and be there by quarter to five perhaps if she'll still be there then?"

"Perfect, Mr. Masen, I'll let her know. See you then." She hung up the phone and I threw the phone upon my dirty bed and ran to the shower. After my incredibly short yet very satisfying shower, I scrambled to my closet with my hunter green towel wrapped around my waist. While looking for satisfactory clothing to wear to this all-important meeting, I realized if I got this job, the first thing I would need to buy would be new towels.

I was thankful nobody else was in my apartment because I was sure that this towel was so short that somebody across the room could probably see the tip of my junk. Ignoring that creepy thought for a second, I randomly pulled out a white button up shirt and a black wife beater with a pair of light blue, slightly destroyed jeans. Good fucking god, I really was beginning to sound gay. I threw that all on quickly and a pair of beat up dark blue Chuck Taylors.

I ran down to where my car was parked under the building and sped out of the complex and down to Twilight Talent Agency's office. When I checked the time on my cellphone, it was exactly one minute before the time I had to be in Stacy's office.

"Ah, Edward", she said as she came out of her office. Stacy was the typical face of beauty in our world. You know, blonde hair, blue eyes, small waist, long legs, big breasts. To everyone else in the world, she might be the most beautiful person in the world, but the only one I had eyes for was a pale, brown-eyed, Cali girl named Bella.

We spent a whole hour talking and I agreed to immediately abandon my apartment in Chicago to leave for LA. Ironically, the house the filming company was going to put me up in was only a few blocks down from the famous Dwyer estate where Bella lived. The film was all about this guy who was an alcoholic and met this girl who completely changed his world and inspired him to be better. All until the girl dies that is. I really felt the story line as I read the script and made all the arrangements to be in California by tomorrow evening. I would win my Bella back for sure.

This feeling of ecstasy I felt at the ever rapidly approaching reunion with Bella reminded me of a completely repulsive Miley Cyrus song that Bella once played a hundred times in a row just to annoy me. "The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself, my heart can also mend, whoa oh, I can, I can't wait to see you again."

_I know it's incredibly short for me but I really wanted to update this. So this is what Edward is up to. Leave me reviews cause they're almost as sweet as a wet Edward in a barely there towel and check out my other stories and give them some much needed love too. _

_Love, Amanda._

_---_

_Songs:_

_See You Again- Breathe Carolina_

_Still Around- 3Oh!3_

_It's Safe To Say You Dig The Backseat- Dance Gavin Dance_

_Noel- All Time Low_

_The Way She Moves- Forever The Sickest Kids_

_It Won't Be Long (Beatles Cover)- Evan Rachel Wood_

_Suicide Is Painless- The Smiths_

_Best of Me- The Starting Line_


	3. Random Stuff You Should Know

**So I got asked a question today: Are you ever gonna finish your stories? While it's a legit question, I was kinda infuriated because the answer makes me a little mad at myself. My life is still in a state of insanity and I've been working on this one idea that I haven't posted yet. **

**I think the way I've been writing is wrong. I shouldn't just post whenever an idea comes to me but rather post once a story is almost completely written on my computer. So that's what I'm doing. In between trying to get my passport, my student visa, loans, college applications, reading for my AP Literature class, and graduating that is.**

**I've been stretching myself way too thin and the honest answer to this reviewer's question is: I'm not right now. It doesn't mean I won't ever, it just means there's no point in me writing when it's gonna be completely shitty and nonsensical. You guys deserve better than that. That's why there will be no updates from now. I need to edit my mistakes, elaborate more, among other things. Unfortunately that takes a lot of time.**

**I should be updating again by my 18th birthday at the end of March and hopefully I'll be accepted into the English college I want to go to.**

**Thanks for reading/ continuing to stick with me.**

**Amanda.**


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